not one but THREE YEARS OF HOAXES!!!!.... and an anouncement

check your calendars everyone. ill wait................... ok im done waiting TODAY IS THE THIRD ANIVERSARY OF HOAX BLOKES

they told me hoaxing wasnt a career

they told me no one was reading my blog

well 2 those people i say "yeah but guess what"

after three action packed years of non stop daily hoaxes, i can say this much: hoaxes are SICK! and i couldnt have done it without my loyal readers. well i couldve but it wouldve been lonly.. coincidentaly a feeling the ol randy-for-action is well acquanted with...... :-)

but i know why u guys are here. u dont just want to see randy pat himself on the back. ur not just lookin for the hottest gifs on the net. u came here for a HOAX and by GOD im gonna give u WHAT u WANT.

or is that a hoax

today the hoax blokes comes to an end. unfortunately this blog has become to popular, so everyone reconizes me in public and my hoaxes dont work. that and hoaxing is a young mans game.... i just cant keep up anymore.

its been a good run. weve pulled off the illest hoaxes ruses and gambits in the game. remember the one with the whoopie cushion.. classic. or the one with the banana peel... classic. id go on but my memory was permanently damaged by inhaling oven cleaner at a young age :P so thats all i remember!

for anyone who wants 2 carry the torch, here are some fun hoax ideas i had that never came 2 frution:
- pretend dirt is chocolate
- pretend dirt is mulch (i know mulch already has dirt in it.. for the last time stop sending me angry emails)

and some blog tips:
- smileys are more realistic with noses

ok well thats it i guess :-( ive provided entertainment to the world for three years. its time i focus on myself for once.. honestly, i just want to settle down with a nice girl in the countryside. wed have two boys, three year gap: the older one would have a garage band in high school but his passion for music would slowly fade after the band breaks up for colege. he clings to those memories for the rest of his life bc he will never be that happy in adulthood. the younger brother is all around superior bc we learned from are mistakes with the older one lol.. i totally forgot where i was going with this (oven cleaner!)

anyway this is hoax bloke randy, signing off <3

a new me a new hoax a new day

knock knock

whose there

RANDY back with a brand spankin new BLOG POST and HOAX!

whats that u say? u want a new hoax? well i just told u i got 1 so hold on tight! here it comes, just keep reading!

hey everybody its ya boyyy HOAX BLOKES RANDY and this is my new hoax: i stole gum from a gas station. ok ok i know what ur thinkin: "randy, stealing is wrong!" and usually i would agree but if u call it a hoax it's not rly stealing its just a hoax. guess being a hoaxer has its perks see? (like free gum!)

side note: thanks for the all the fan mail!

but i digress, so anyway i walk into the gas station all "hey im just a normal customer lookin for a snack?!" i grab a bag of ranch flavored corn nuts and a beef jerkey. yum! corn nuts have the crunch no kid can resist, and jerkey is always a chewy treat! but i digress, so anyway im checkin out and while the cashier is lookin at the register i grab a pack of dentyne ice (stop emailing me about if dentyne is sponsoring me, THERE NOT) and put it in my shirt pocket.

suddenly the cashier looks up and says "oh the gum too? i gotta scan that"

i say "i brought this in with me"

he's like "no i just saw u take it, if your not gonna pay for it put it back"

i say "ok sorry about that"

so in conclusion i didnt actually get away with the gum but not every hoax goes perfectly. the cashiers reaction was still epic tho. he was like "no i just saw u take it, if your not gonna pay for it put it back" woww heh.

anyway u probaly wonderin where ya boyyy randy's been. well hes been at home! so that answers that.

and thats the hoax of the day! as always thanks for reading the HOAX BLOKES. as always im SINGLE and LONELY! cute girls msg me. im desperate heh! ha see you next time. :-|

if your lonely and feelin down
turn your frown upside down!
dont forget this dandy jingle
call me baby, randys single!

the new ultimate hoax (aka a really nice hoax)

u've probably been wondering where the ol rando slammo (what my friends call me) has been. well u don't have 2 wonder any longer friends, handy randy (what my dad calls me) is BACK..

CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK

did u hear that? that was the sound of me cracking my nuckles, geting ready 2 lay down a brand new hoax! so here it is:

three months ago i told myself: "yankee randall (what i call myself), enough fiddle faddle, ur next hoax is going to be 1 2 remember."

for 3 months i locked myself in my room, sustaining myself only with quakers chewy bars (the big ones) and strawberry kiwi v8 splash. i had to cut myself off from society.. much to the dismay of my inumerable friends. if ur an artist u understand, if ur not its fine; u will still understand the majority of this hoax :-) also 4 those of u who keep asking me if i like v8 fusion...... i DONT.. stop emailing me

anyway so it was 3 months and then i came up with a sick hoax: put a banana peel on the ground

now i know what ure thinking: randy that's old hat, 20th century, plagiarism even.......... and 2 that......... i say..................................... sometimes u have 2 go back 2 the basics..

so basicaly i went out to a street that had a sidewalk and i had a banana peel from a banana but i didnt eat the banana i just threw it out cuz i only needed the peel. sue me epa. then i put the banana peel on the ground and sat on a nearby bench.

so basicaly im thinking "here it comes randley steemer (other name i call myself)... someone is going to step on the banana peel and slip and fall onto the hard cement ground.... classic." classic.

but thats not what happened. heres what happened: some1 stepped on the banana peel but it wasnt slippery enough so it just stuck to their shoe a little bit. they looked a little upset. then they kept walking. thats when i realized something about hoaxes: sometimes u come up with a great hoax, but then it turns into a DIFFERENT hoax. so even tho this hoax didnt go as planned, it was still a nice hoax in a different way. sometimes i think about giving up this hoaxing life to become a philosopher or indie artist

ok anyway thats all i got 4 today. remember if ure a nice girl MSG ME ASAP i've already put a down payment on a 1-bedroom 2-bathroom house in the countryside........... um. pic4pic...... ok anyway thats all i got :-|

the ultimate hoax (ok maybe not THE ultimate hoax but fairly ultimate)

as u probably know, hoaxing just doesn't put food on the table. back in the day, u could easily make a name 4 urself with enough chutzpah, but now the hoaxing market is saturated with copycats and many modern hoaxers r forced to take up a side job to pay the bills.......

so today i got a job @ the local donut shop. the woman who owns the shop is a friend of my dad's....... guess it pays to have connections, rite?? lol! haha. so i'm fillin out that w4 form (or as i like to call it: the wFOURm!) but theres one small catch...............

................................

.......................

....................................

.......................................................................................

i fill out all the info wrong. like my name, my adres, everything. so i give the papers to the owner and she looks them over and she says "oh is that really ur name??"

i want to say "yup" but i know if i open my mouth all that's coming out is a giggle parade.

so she asks me again since i didnt really give her any sign of afirmation

looks like the gig is up. "ok" i say. "i filled out all the info wrong. like my name, my adres, everything."

she doesn't laugh. i mean, maybe she was just trying to wrap her brain around what just went down (in her defense it was a pretty juicy hoax) but..... idk... she never even acknowledged the humor of the situation. she even made me fill out the paperwork again. some people have no sense of humor. :-/

anyway thx for reading everybody. i really appreciate all the nice letters i get from u guys. makes this crazy life worth living. but, like for any artist, there are bad days too. days where the blank canvas whispers not of potential, but screams failure. haha. really i just want to settle down with a nice girl in the countryside :-|

phone hoax aka phoax (or phoaxne.... i havent decided which i like beter)

le hoax du jour

beofre u say anything, "le hoax du jour" is french for "ur dumb" ... jk (not even three sentences in and i've already hoaxed u)

ok sry hi everyone its me hoax blokes randy, back again with another hOAX!

today i was just chillin in my usual corner (basically theres this stairwell at my school that leads into like a basement area, so sometimes i just go down into the basement and there's like this dark corner that i sit in for hours until the school calls the police to search for me) (<----epic hoax btw)

and im just chillin there when i get a call from a telemarketer. they want to sell me cable service or something... i dont remember (pls stop sending me angry emails about this; my memory was permanently damaged by being exposed to oven cleaner at a young age lol)

so anyway the girl on the phone was like "ok sir do u want to buy <something>"

i'm like "yes lol"

shes like "ok can i have ur credit card number"

i'm like "ok lol here it is: 123456789"

shes like" ok sir.. i dont think thats a real credit card number"

then i hang up LOL

then i redialed to ask her out for like lunch or commit to a long term relationship or something... i dont remember (oven cleaner)

then she hung up DOUBLE LOL

guess i got counterhoax'd..

ok thanks every1 for reading my blog and remembr if ur a nice girl pls msg me (i might hoax u tho ;-/)

cool wallpaper

hey every1 its me hoax bloke randy... i dont normally deviate from the hoaxes on the hoax blokes, but i just gotta clue you all in on this SICK wallpaper... don't believe me??? check it out!!!!! http://images6.alphacoders.com/316/316963.jpg

april fool

happy april fools every1

guess what today is.... april 2nd jk april 1st

as u can probably guess, april fools day is my favorite holiday. ever!!! look i mean... i like chirstmas... i appreciate honuca (although i don't have a firm enough understanding of jewish culture to make that statement with any certainty)... wtf even is labor day. ok so anyway, YES, april fools is my favorite holiday!

today i went to school and basicly pulled the greatest hoax of all time. i put gum under my desk. CHEWED gum. eww gross lol but i did it anyway.

ummm also pls if you know me irl don't tell any teachers. u can actually get a detention for that. i heard one kid got expelled for putting gum under his desk. actually he was expelled bc he brought a gun to detention LOL.

shoutouts to quaker's granola bars (please sponsor me :/) i LOVE quakers granola bars! but what i would really love is to meet a nice girl to settle down in the countryside with. im really lonely. i mean, april fools, right!!? :-/