randy visits the HOAXery store (word play on "GROCERY store") lol

Hey every1 it's me randy, ur #1 source for all things HOAX.

People keep asking The Bloke (my nickname) (all my friends call me that) where the hoaxes are. well calm down every1 cuz the bloke is back and he's got a few hoaxes up his sleeves (jk) (or am i) (thats how u know im a grade a hoaxer)... anyway heres my latest hoax:

i was just shopping 4 scooters at the grocery store. turns out they dont carry scooters. o well. thats life. so i thought.... y dont i turn this negative situation... into a positive situation lol! so heres what i came up:

i was gonna go up to a pretty woman and ask her to date me. she would obvi say yes. then i'd be like "haha no way ur ugly." just a harmless hoaxaroo.

ok. Operation Hoax is a go. i see this girl. she looks like a curvier kate upton. a 7/10 in randy's book. it's like when u go to the vending machine and u want a rice krispie treat but it's kinda far back and ur not sure if the machine will even drop it so u just go for the fruit snacks. anyway thats another story.

so i'm like "hey babyface how abouts you and me go grab a snack and start dating??" she was like "who are u no."

so anyway this hoax didnt go 2 well for some reason. but it doesnt stop there. my grocey store shenanigans continue in PART 2.

hire me 4 partys!!!!!?!!

hey happy hoaxers......

money is a lil tight atm (L.O.L. atm money pun) and 2 make some extra dough-mundo i thot "y not rent my body 4 partys??"

ur kid is turning 10? hire me. ur having a weding?? hire me. grammas funeral...? :(( hire me!!!! i will hoax all ur party guests haRD CORE HOAX BLOKES-style!! they'l be waddling on all 4s by the time i'm done. thats the mark of a true hoaxman!

also y hasnt my blog gone viral??? not that i do this 4 money but still....... pls share this on instagram!!! also if u r pretty girl pls message me..... it gets lonely in my moms basement lol!!

HOAX'D EPISODE 11

new HOAX BLOKES BLOKES??? (apply to be hoax blokes here!!!!!!!!)

by now your probably thinking "HOAX BLOKES RANDY HOW DO YOU DO ALL THESE HOAXES by yourself???????!!!!"

good question!... LOL

so as of today i am hiring new hoax blokes. if u would like to apply, please answer the following questions BELOW! i already answered the questions as examples but if you do them make sure to delete my answrs because obviously those are my answers and yours will be different unless we are very similar which in that case LOL ur hired!!

1. whats ur favorite food???

          my favorite food is the burritos at chipotle they are so good..... i should get a job at chipotle just to steal all the burrito ingredients..... hm that would be illegal but it would also be a pretty rad hoax!! (u have to admit)

2. whats ur favorite hoax blokes episode..?

          my favorite episode of the HOAX BLOKES (tm) would have to be episode 7.. its a really funny episode i knocked on this guy's door and he answered but i was gone by the time he got there so he probably thought it was a ghost.. but just to clarify it wasn't a ghost it was me literaly lmao...

3. what would u change about urself if you could change one thing about yourself?!

          i would settle down with a nice girl in the country side :-( thats not even a hoax im so lonely

a new year.........a new hOAX B)

hey guys i know its been a while but trust me this hoax is WELL worth the wait!! ok so picture this................................. i'm chillin with my posse (yes mom i do have friends ROFL!!!)  and im like...... "hey broski (that's what i call my REAL FRIENDS that DO EXIST) dont freak out but theres a spider on your head and its a realy big spider!!!!!!!!" so my broski is like "no theres not..........." and i say "ApRiL FoOlS!!!!!!" LOL! and i know what ur thinking..... ur thinking, "randy, thats a pretty subpar hoax" well get THIS;; it wasn't even april fools day IT WAS A DOUBLE HOAX!?!!!?!

anyway thx everyone for supporting my blog its been a long and rewarding journey!! plus my therapist said it would be good for me.. so yeah in the coming year i hope to bring you lots of new HOAXES lol!!!! u can support me by buying hoax blokes merchandise at the following hyperlink... google.com! (just search "hoax blokes t-shirts and wristband") also u can donate to my kickstarter but i dont have one yet..?!

Stay Gold and Get Hoax'd Lol (tm)

HOAX'D EPISODE 8

hmmmmmmmmmm

hey guys im thinking about changing the name from hoax blokes to one of the following: gag dads, pranka wankas, hi-jinx minks (The two living species referred to as "mink" are the European mink and the American mink. The extinct sea mink is related to the American mink, but was much larger. All three species are dark-colored, semiaquatic, carnivorous mammals of the family Mustelidae, which also includes the weasels, otters and ferrets. The American mink is larger and more adaptable than the European mink. It is sometimes possible to distinguish between the European and American mink; a European mink always has a large white patch on its upper lip, while the American species sometimes does not. Thus, any mink without such a patch can be identified with certainty as an American mink, but an individual with a patch cannot be certainly identified without looking at the skeleton. Taxonomically, both American and European mink used to be placed in the same genus, Mustela (weasels), but most recently the American mink has been reclassified as belonging to its own genus, Neovison.) (from wikipedia FYI) (i will probably keep that all in the name just so ppl know what a mink is), bollocks and rollicks, the JOKES blokes, the FUNNY jokes blokes, the foolery jewlery, shenanimans, the captains of what-just-happened, or my personal favorite, huey lewis and the ruse -- some kind of blunderful (YES i know that was a cover WHATEVER stop sending me angry e-mails).

also i might just go by randy to make a name for myself

THOUGHT I'D MIX IT UP TODAY WITH A HOAXEM LOL

youre probably asking whats a hoaxem well thanks for asking its a HOAX POEM i put the two words together to create HOAXEM

this hoaxem is called "whoopie cushion"

so i had a this hoax planned
a whoopie cushion under the seat
and my friend would sit down
and it would fart hee hee hee

but i couldnt find a whoopie cushion
so when he sat down
i just made a farting sound with my mouth
and he frowned

................... i just wanna say that im not a professional poet, im just your everyday prank daddy, and i thought id express mysel through an alternative art form.............. my mom always liked my poems............. love u guys thx for reading

HOAXD EPISODE 3

I MOVED MY FRIEND'S GLASSES TO SOMEWHERE WHERE THEY WEREN'T BEFORE AND THEN HE COULDN'T FIND THEM BUT THEN HE FOUND THEM LOL

god this was TOO FUNNY HAHA so my friend (we'll call him DAVE) he uses glasses.......... but i moved the glasses so when he went to go put on his glasses wellllll guess what....... they werent where he thought they were because if you remember i moved them and then dont worry i told him where they were but man that was a classic hoax

HOAXD EPISODE 2