randy's dental fun

randy here with another PERFECT hoax. (ok maybe not perfect but close. lmao its a figure of speech stop sending me emails about it!!)

it was just a normal day on planet hoax (jk im just talkin bout earth but i sometimes say planet hoax cuz my mom always says "randy its like ur on another planet" so i was like "if i had my own planet id call it planet hoax" LOL it's just a inside joke me and my mom have). if u no me, u no that no day is truly normal when randys kickin round. what made this day so special tho is that i had a dentist apointment.

dentists r so easy to hoax cuz they never see it coming. all im sayin is they dont teach em how 2 deal with randy at dentist school. so this guys all up in my mouth like "randy do u even brush ur teeth??" lol no i dont brush my teeth. u get the most value out of the dentist if u dont cuz they charge the same for a cleaning whether ur mouth is literaly sterile or just plain gross.

anyway he finally finishes whatever he's picking at and tells me to rinse. perfect. the hoax is about 2 BEGIN!! i press the button and fill the cup with water. swish it around my mouth like im mad at the water. definitely a good rinse. if i wasn't a hoaxer 4 lyfe i'd definitely try and make a living off of how good i am at rinsing my mouth. spit it out. tbh the water is super gross from all my mouth gunk. looks like chocolate-flavored gatorade with little bits of raisins mixed in. LOL but thats not even the hoax thats just poor hygene.

then i take another rinse. and another. and another. eventualy my dentist is like "uh thats probably enough rinsing." but i dont stop there. i keep using more and more water. "randy thats enough. ur good now." i dont stop. i rinsed for about 10 minutes. it was super uncomfortable.

u no what i wish. i wish my dentist was a nice girl. id ask her to settle down with me in the countryside. i might still hoax her tho LOL (im lonely) :-(

anyway that was the hoax. hope u liked it.

randy visits the HOAXery store (word play on "GROCERY store") lol PART 2

IF U DIDNT READ PART 1 PLEASE SCROLL DOWN AND READ PART 1

^^^^ please read ^^^^

ok hi every1. its me randy again with another episode of HOAX'D. i assume u have read part 1. it is crucial to understanding part 2. otherwise u'll be like "randy im confused" and i'll be like "too bad u should of read part 1 like i told u. u never listen to me. no one ever does. am i invisible?? is my life meaningless??? i just want to settle down with a nice girl in the countryside."

anyway, so im still chillin in the grocery store and if u remember i was lookin to by a scooter. i love scooters becuz theyre faster than walking but not as hard to use as a bicycle.

im still bumming out cuz that 4/10 girl rejected me probably cuz she was intimidated by my great personality and jawline. i get that a lot. so im itching to pull a new hoax.

i take one of those big bouncy balls and put it under my shirt so it looks like im fat or pregnant or something. u're saying "randy 2nd graders do this. this isnt a hoax." well u're right but its still a hoax. sometimes u gotta go with the classics.

so i walk up to this old guy and im like "sir im pregnant." i dont think he heard me. whatever anyway i take the ball out from under my shirt and i say "lol i was just kidding. u got hoax'd big time, buddy."

then i left and went home. its lonely there. sometimes i think... do girls not like hoaxmasters? do i have to give up my hoaxing ways to find my soulmate..? i would give it all up to settle down with a nice girl in the countryside. sometimes i think hoaxing is just how i hide my sadness.

ah what am i saying. im a hoaxer by nature. do what u know, randy. this is who u r. LOL :-(

HOAX'D EPISODE 14

randy visits the HOAXery store (word play on "GROCERY store") lol

Hey every1 it's me randy, ur #1 source for all things HOAX.

People keep asking The Bloke (my nickname) (all my friends call me that) where the hoaxes are. well calm down every1 cuz the bloke is back and he's got a few hoaxes up his sleeves (jk) (or am i) (thats how u know im a grade a hoaxer)... anyway heres my latest hoax:

i was just shopping 4 scooters at the grocery store. turns out they dont carry scooters. o well. thats life. so i thought.... y dont i turn this negative situation... into a positive situation lol! so heres what i came up:

i was gonna go up to a pretty woman and ask her to date me. she would obvi say yes. then i'd be like "haha no way ur ugly." just a harmless hoaxaroo.

ok. Operation Hoax is a go. i see this girl. she looks like a curvier kate upton. a 7/10 in randy's book. it's like when u go to the vending machine and u want a rice krispie treat but it's kinda far back and ur not sure if the machine will even drop it so u just go for the fruit snacks. anyway thats another story.

so i'm like "hey babyface how abouts you and me go grab a snack and start dating??" she was like "who are u no."

so anyway this hoax didnt go 2 well for some reason. but it doesnt stop there. my grocey store shenanigans continue in PART 2.

hire me 4 partys!!!!!?!!

hey happy hoaxers......

money is a lil tight atm (L.O.L. atm money pun) and 2 make some extra dough-mundo i thot "y not rent my body 4 partys??"

ur kid is turning 10? hire me. ur having a weding?? hire me. grammas funeral...? :(( hire me!!!! i will hoax all ur party guests haRD CORE HOAX BLOKES-style!! they'l be waddling on all 4s by the time i'm done. thats the mark of a true hoaxman!

also y hasnt my blog gone viral??? not that i do this 4 money but still....... pls share this on instagram!!! also if u r pretty girl pls message me..... it gets lonely in my moms basement lol!!

HOAX'D EPISODE 11

new HOAX BLOKES BLOKES??? (apply to be hoax blokes here!!!!!!!!)

by now your probably thinking "HOAX BLOKES RANDY HOW DO YOU DO ALL THESE HOAXES by yourself???????!!!!"

good question!... LOL

so as of today i am hiring new hoax blokes. if u would like to apply, please answer the following questions BELOW! i already answered the questions as examples but if you do them make sure to delete my answrs because obviously those are my answers and yours will be different unless we are very similar which in that case LOL ur hired!!

1. whats ur favorite food???

          my favorite food is the burritos at chipotle they are so good..... i should get a job at chipotle just to steal all the burrito ingredients..... hm that would be illegal but it would also be a pretty rad hoax!! (u have to admit)

2. whats ur favorite hoax blokes episode..?

          my favorite episode of the HOAX BLOKES (tm) would have to be episode 7.. its a really funny episode i knocked on this guy's door and he answered but i was gone by the time he got there so he probably thought it was a ghost.. but just to clarify it wasn't a ghost it was me literaly lmao...

3. what would u change about urself if you could change one thing about yourself?!

          i would settle down with a nice girl in the country side :-( thats not even a hoax im so lonely

a new year.........a new hOAX B)

hey guys i know its been a while but trust me this hoax is WELL worth the wait!! ok so picture this................................. i'm chillin with my posse (yes mom i do have friends ROFL!!!)  and im like...... "hey broski (that's what i call my REAL FRIENDS that DO EXIST) dont freak out but theres a spider on your head and its a realy big spider!!!!!!!!" so my broski is like "no theres not..........." and i say "ApRiL FoOlS!!!!!!" LOL! and i know what ur thinking..... ur thinking, "randy, thats a pretty subpar hoax" well get THIS;; it wasn't even april fools day IT WAS A DOUBLE HOAX!?!!!?!

anyway thx everyone for supporting my blog its been a long and rewarding journey!! plus my therapist said it would be good for me.. so yeah in the coming year i hope to bring you lots of new HOAXES lol!!!! u can support me by buying hoax blokes merchandise at the following hyperlink... google.com! (just search "hoax blokes t-shirts and wristband") also u can donate to my kickstarter but i dont have one yet..?!

Stay Gold and Get Hoax'd Lol (tm)

HOAX'D EPISODE 8

hmmmmmmmmmm

hey guys im thinking about changing the name from hoax blokes to one of the following: gag dads, pranka wankas, hi-jinx minks (The two living species referred to as "mink" are the European mink and the American mink. The extinct sea mink is related to the American mink, but was much larger. All three species are dark-colored, semiaquatic, carnivorous mammals of the family Mustelidae, which also includes the weasels, otters and ferrets. The American mink is larger and more adaptable than the European mink. It is sometimes possible to distinguish between the European and American mink; a European mink always has a large white patch on its upper lip, while the American species sometimes does not. Thus, any mink without such a patch can be identified with certainty as an American mink, but an individual with a patch cannot be certainly identified without looking at the skeleton. Taxonomically, both American and European mink used to be placed in the same genus, Mustela (weasels), but most recently the American mink has been reclassified as belonging to its own genus, Neovison.) (from wikipedia FYI) (i will probably keep that all in the name just so ppl know what a mink is), bollocks and rollicks, the JOKES blokes, the FUNNY jokes blokes, the foolery jewlery, shenanimans, the captains of what-just-happened, or my personal favorite, huey lewis and the ruse -- some kind of blunderful (YES i know that was a cover WHATEVER stop sending me angry e-mails).

also i might just go by randy to make a name for myself